I recently facilitated a group of high-performing male executives, and it was quite interesting to say the least. These are confidential peer groups of intermediate-to-senior-level professionals who are seeking to continue their growth in the business world. What was so striking was the immediate, personal nature of their concerns and the common thread of the issues they face.
How do they structure their time between their career and family? What relationships do they need to cultivate to advance their careers? What steps do they need to work on to move forward?
They all are investing a huge amount of time and energy to focus on the elusive answers as they search for a sustained sense of financial and professional security as well as personal satisfaction.
If they love what they do, they tend to get lost in the time and energy involved in their tasks, eventually resulting in a spousal interrogation that goes something like this: Where were you? When are you coming home? Why do you have to work so late?
Believe me, this happens more than you think. These guys are working to be successful, stay successful or work out of a hole.
These are issues frequently faced by successful executives but rarely discussed openly before the situation turns critical. That’s why these peer groups are so very, very important. They give the male professional executive a sense of perspective, a place to vent, an environment to explore options and get emotional support in a safe environment.
Typically, there are not a great many opportunities for these guys to speak openly about what bothers them and in turn get the support they need without the judgment of what they should or should not be doing. It’s important for them to have the option to move in the direction of their choice, without outside pressures that contaminate the decision-making process.
Sometimes nothing has to be done, but being heard is a tremendous relief. They get reassurance that they are on the right track. However, usually much is done in these groups, more than meets the eye. Bonds start to form, allowing out-of-the-group communication and relationships to develop. These relationships are critical because they are where trust develops, trust that is so critical to the underlying fabric of professional collaboration. There is no substitute for empathy and trust when collaborating on a challenging task in your business and professional life. It is the opposite of working in isolation.
Isolation is one of the most detrimental factors in generating stress in the successful professional. Alternately, the reduction of isolation is a major factor in the improved performance of a successful professional. The peer group helps immediately.
Our peer groups emphasize the communication and connection of individuals on real-life gut issues that matter. We’ve all been there, and we are quick to confront baloney when we hear it.
Such accountability and mutual support create the feeling that “we’re all in this together.” When you don’t feel like you are alone, you get an increased sense of well-being.
I can honestly say that watching these guys participate in our men’s peer groups is a rich and rewarding experience and that as I facilitate more of these groups, I feel a high degree of privilege and honor to be a part their growth. I grow each time I share the hard work of these courageous guys willing to take the risks of vulnerability and self-discovery.
Jerry Stein, motivational speaker and executive coach, can be reached at
jerry@careercoach.com or (770)
988-0500. Go to careercoach.com for more info and to sign up for his free
newsletter.
